Saturday, 28 February 2015

Storytime: Why there are no Welshmen in heaven


As it is St David’s day tomorrow, I thought I’d mark the occasion with a medieval Welsh ‘joke’. Thus proving that they have been picked on for a veeeeeeeeeeery long time:

“I find written among old stories how God made Saint Peter port of Heaven, and how God, in his goodness soon after his suffering on the cross allowed many men to come to the kingdom of heaven who very little deserved it. So at this time there were in heaven a lot of Welshmen, who troubled all the rest with their boasting and chatter. So God said to Saint Peter that he was fed up with them, and that he’d be very glad to have them out of heaven. Saint Peter replied to him, 


“Good lord, I guarantee that it will be done in no time.” So Saint Peter went outside the gates of heaven and shouted in a loud voice,


“Cause bobe!” which is as much as to say, “Roasted cheese.” 

When they heard this the Welshmen ran out of heaven at great speed. And when Saint Peter saw that they were all outside, he quickly went in to Heaven and locked the door, and so he barred all the Welshmen out.




By this you can see that there is no sense in a man loving or setting his mind too much upon any dainty or worldly pleasure whereby he may lose heavenly or eternal joy.”

Notes

1 of 8 stories about the Welsh in the 1526, “The Hundred Mery Talys”, printed in Medieval Comic Tales, ed. D. Brewer (Cambridge, Boydell & Brewer Press: 1973)

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